ON PURPOSE: JAY SHETTY
ON PURPOSE:
JAY SHETTY
photography YU TSAI starring JAY SHETTY eic and production STEPHANIE AROUESTY coordination ULISES GARCÍA interview NATALIE ROTERMAN art direction MARÍA JOSÉ AJA styling ORETTA CORBELLI grooming COURTNEY HOUSNER for DEW BEAUTY video GIANCARLO DECASTRO styling assistant ALLEGRA GARGIULO location STUDIO SUPER
From his viral videos on social media to his famous podcast On Purpose, Jay Shetty has managed to spread his message all around the world. After finishing his Business degree, Shetty wasn’t sure this aligned with his purpose, so he changed courses and decided to become a Hindu monk for three years. That’s where he realized his calling was to help others find more clarity and peace in their lives.
Today, the former monk is the Chief Purpose Officer of the Calm app, a bestselling author, award-winning podcaster, life purpose coach, and international speaker. He has dedicated his career to helping his audience find purpose, clarity, and connection by blending the ancient wisdom he gained with modern life in a unique way.
In this exclusive conversation, he talks about the unexpected turns in his journey—from dreaming of becoming a rapper to choosing a life of service and introspection.
L’BEAUTE HOMME What did you want to be when you grew up?
JAY SHETTY Like most kids I cycled through a few things, but for a while I actually thought about becoming a rapper. Rap music has always captivated me. It’s this form of lyrical storytelling that has this unique combination of deep emotion and intelligence to it. I was always so impressed with how great rappers could string together these rhymes, and at the same time convey these messages that can be so meaningful. I’ve always been fascinated by people who overcome adversity and what drives them — and I think some of the most powerful rap music taps into exactly that.
L’BEAUTE HOMME What did you want to be when you grew up?
JAY SHETTY Like most kids I cycled through a few things, but for a while I actually thought about becoming a rapper. Rap music has always captivated me. It’s this form of lyrical storytelling that has this unique combination of deep emotion and intelligence to it. I was always so impressed with how great rappers could string together these rhymes, and at the same time convey these messages that can be so meaningful. I’ve always been fascinated by people who overcome adversity and what drives them — and I think some of the most powerful rap music taps into exactly that.
LBH Tell us how you got to this point in your career, how did Jay Shetty become the author, podcaster, speaker, coach we all know?
JS So obviously I didn’t end up becoming a rapper. Seriously though, what’s interesting is that I never actually set out to specifically do these things. I had goals, but I never had a vision that this is exactly what I’d be doing. Where I am now is really the result of a progression of individual steps. At various points in my life I sat down and thought deeply about what was pulling me, what was motivating me, and on top of that where I thought I could make the biggest contribution and do the most good. And each of those steps has combined to bring me to where I am now.
LBH Tell us how you got to this point in your career, how did Jay Shetty become the author, podcaster, speaker, coach we all know?
JS So obviously I didn’t end up becoming a rapper. Seriously though, what’s interesting is that I never actually set out to specifically do these things. I had goals, but I never had a vision that this is exactly what I’d be doing. Where I am now is really the result of a progression of individual steps. At various points in my life I sat down and thought deeply about what was pulling me, what was motivating me, and on top of that where I thought I could make the biggest contribution and do the most good. And each of those steps has combined to bring me to where I am now.
LBH How would you say someone can find their purpose in life?
JS This is probably one of the questions that I’m asked most often because I think this is something that so many people struggle with. Firstly, I’d say that finding your purpose has what I think of as two main components: first is the formula. Your purpose is at the intersection of a few factors, which are what are your strengths, what do you like to do, and what does the world need. So the formula is passion, plus strengths, plus usefulness. That said, it’s difficult for most of us to just sit down and consider this formula and come up with a clear answer, like, “Oh, that’s my purpose!” So the second component is science. It’s experimentation. Scientists come up with a hypothesis – an idea they think might be true – and then they test it. We can do the same. Explore different ideas by testing them and seeing what results you get. In time, you will find your purpose.
LBH What drives you to get up every day and to continue doing your work?
JS What keeps me going is the opportunity to help others connect with their purpose and find fulfillment in their lives. When individuals are empowered to express their true selves, they can contribute meaningfully to the world. Keeping this intention at the heart of everything I do reinforces that this work is my true purpose.
LBH What’s the biggest lesson from your days as a monk that you always carry with you?
JS I really think it’s a service mentality. It’s the idea that the path to personal fulfillment and the path to making a difference in the world are one and the same — and that path is service. There are studies that show that helping others is one of the greatest ways to enhance our wellbeing and foster a positive outlook on the world around us. I’m grateful to have learned this principle from the incredible teachers I had during my time as a monk. They embodied this daily and their example made such a deep impression on me.
LBH How do you deal with angry moments and bad days?
JS I think that sometimes there’s often a misconception that achieving success in mindfulness or meditation means we won’t experience emotions like anger, sadness, or frustration but that’s not true. What shifts is not our experiences and the presence of these emotions, but it’s our energy, our mindset. So first, when I am down or frustrated, I don’t try to stop those feelings. Instead, I acknowledge them. Research shows that when we suppress difficult emotions they can actually intensify and prolong their presence. It’s about acknowledging them without dwelling on them. So you can say, “I feel angry” or “I feel frustrated,” which is a way to recognize your current state and let that be true in that moment, but then try to not hold on to that feeling. Maybe instead you say, “I’m having a difficult moment.”But just try to let yourself feel it, acknowledge it, and then let them shift naturally.
LBH The conversation around mental health has been so healing for these next generations, but there is also worry about younger people being less “stable”, less resistant, “weaker” in some ways. What’s your take on that and what would you say is the sweet spot between both?
JS There’s been so much healing in how openly younger generations talk about mental health. At the same time, some people worry that this openness may come at the cost of emotional resilience or coping strength. I think it comes down to finding the sweet spot or the place of balance. What we often get wrong about the idea of balance is that we think it means we’re always in some perfect center. But balance is more dynamic, like if you think of a tightrope walker they’re always adjusting. It’s natural for us to experience moments when we don’t feel our strongest selves, and that’s perfectly okay. Acknowledging and expressing these feelings is crucial. On the other side there are times when we might adopt a more stoic approach, exercising emotional control when it serves us best. Neither approach is right or wrong – what’s important is our ability to navigate between them as needed. Ideally, there are moments when we allow ourselves to not feel our best and simply be in that space, and other times when we choose to exercise more emotional control if that serves us. In other words, I don’t think resilience is some kind of static place in the center, I think it’s more about emotional flexibility. And I think we’re all capable of cultivating more of that regardless of our age.
LBH Your podcast, On Purpose is the number one health podcast in the world. Why do you think talking about mental health and wellness is so important?
JS I think for a lot of people it’s a relief, because for such a long time it was not okay, culturally, to discuss our mental health. But the reality is that we all experience these challenges, and to not acknowledge that can make things feel much worse. Sharing our challenges helps us connect. When we can talk about these things and not hide them anymore, or when we hear about someone else who is dealing with something similar to us, it alleviates some of the loneliness and isolation so many of us are struggling with.
LBH On to relationships, which ones would you say are the types of relationships worth investing in?
JS There’s one idea that I think covers all of the different types of relationships we can have, whether it’s friendships, romantic relationships, and so on. And that’s this: The best people to surround yourself with are the people who bring out the best in you. And relationships are a two-way street, right? So the same is true for you, that you want to be interacting with others in ways that bring out the best in them. That doesn’t mean that we’ll always be perfect, nor will others. We won’t always be our highest self. But on the whole, do the people in your life have your best interests at heart? And do you have theirs? It’s a powerful question.
LBH What’s the biggest misconception about relationships?
JS I think one of the biggest ideas we stumble on is that we look to others to make us happy, and they just can’t. Happiness is an inside job. Someone else might give us a boost, but external validation is like having a snack instead of a meal. We need to be deeply nourished with self-love, and so we’re the only ones who can feed ourselves. No one else can provide us with a sense of self-worth or with a sense of deep fulfillment. We have to be in charge of that. If you look to someone else to provide that, you’ll always be hungry.
LBH What skills are infallible to have a healthy relationship?
JS I think there are a lot of skills that support healthy relationships, but there are two meta-skills that are essential. These are communication and constant growth. Communication – we know that we need to be able to talk to each other clearly, openly, and productively. It’s more of a matter of actually developing those skills, and for most of us – myself included – that takes time and practice. We have different communication styles and needs, and we need to understand both our own and the other persons’. The second is that for any relationship to last, we need to be open to ongoing growth – the growth of each of us as individuals, and the growth of the relationship. We need to evolve over time, and that means we need to cultivate the skills of being able to reflect and refresh. We learn from the past and we keep moving forward into a fresh future.
LBH What’s your love language?
JS What’s so important about love languages is understanding that love looks different to each of us. And we often speak our own love language to our partner rather than theirs. But real love looks like speaking to someone in their language – it’s figuring out how they want to be loved and loving them that way. Like, my love language is gifts, and so early in our relationship I would try and come up with these incredibly thoughtful or elaborate gifts for Radhi, but they always kind of fell flat. She was always grateful and kind, but she never seemed truly excited and I didn’t understand why. But then I discovered that gifts aren’t her love language. Her primary love language is quality time, and when I shifted to speaking her language and showing my love in that way, she just lit up. We all have one primary love language, and you’ve got to know what your partner’s is, otherwise there can be this disconnect that doesn’t have to be there.
LBH You always close your podcast and interviews with the following question…What’s the best advice someone has given you?
JS I remember sitting with one of my mentors once about 5 years ago. This was years before my online external journey happened, before people were aware of my work I was sitting with him and I said, ”I have so many ideas, I have so many things I want to do & I don’t know where to start.” And I think this is a common thing that I hear a lot of people say to me today where it’s like “I could do this, I could do that, I want to try this…”I think that’s an experience so many of us have at different points in our life. So I asked my mentor how I should choose and he said something that seemed so counterintuitive at first. He said, “Jay, start everything. Try to open every door. Some doors will naturally start to close, or not open in the first place. Just keep walking through the ones that stay open.” And if I look at the past years that I’ve been doing this externally, at this point I can say that’s really all I’ve done.
LBH And the worst advice you’ve received?
JS One piece of advice that often gets repeated is, “Just follow your dreams.” While it’s inspiring, I believe there’s a deeper layer to consider. I’m a believer in having big dreams and big visions, but to truly find fulfillment, it’s essential to understand what genuinely matters to us – our core values. Because for most of us, we don’t actually know what our dreams are because we don’t know what our values are. We don’t know what’s deeply meaningful to us and what would make our lives feel fulfilling. Without this self-awareness, we might chase goals that, once achieved, don’t bring the satisfaction we anticipated. So, before setting out to chase a dream, take the time to reflect inward. Understand your values, let them guide you and take the time to reflect inward. Understand your values, let them guide your vision, and then pursue your dreams with clarity and intention.
